The First Attack

Well. We must say that we are disgusted. You plagerising piece of pond scum, where do you get off? You haven't even got enough brain cells to plagerise decently. You posted on ff.net! Have you any conception of how many well read Sailor Moon fanfic writers/readers hang out at ff.net per day? Obviously not.

Now that we have your mental capacity out of the way, we are prepared to give you some sound advice. 1) Take Sailor Europa's fic off your account. She's mad as hell and has a right to be. 2) It is impossible for a human being to survive on only a brain stem. We know this to be true. Hence, utalize some of those brain cells and walk away from this fandom. You will never be welcome again.

The Rebuttal

listen missy! where do you get off telling me its not my fic!...why dont you just shut the hell up! you dont knwo everything....do you hae any fu*kin' proof!...i wrote this in 1998 with my cousin maja! it wsa because my dad was leaving!....no this is the story! i gave it to a girl that i met on msn, and i gave her my story so she can check it! now thats what i wrote! but i dont have any ideas as to what she did!...so dont think you know everything!...im really sorry if i sound really mean, :)but thats all i know!....i can show ou this story that i have entered in a stupid little competition in 1999!...i have the web site!....now you guys really cna think what you want!, but for me all i can say is that im nota a plagerizer, because i know how it feels to have someone steal your fic!

(This is fairly weak, as flames go. However, Wreaker of Havoc struck back times twenty with the following MiST...)

The Death Blow

WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. ALCOHOL INTENSIFYS EFFECT. NOT IN FINAL FORM. STILL UNDERGOING REVISION. USE CARE USING MACHINES. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES WHEN READING THIS MST.

>listen missy!

VIOLENCE: *glares* You MIGHT consider addressing me by my name rather than some lame-ass attempt at an insult. You MIGHT thereby increase your chances of surviving to the end of this pathetic scrap of putrid garbage you call an email.
SARCASM: *admiringly* Wow, PYROTELEKINESIS is rubbing off on you well, VIOLENCE.

>where do you get off

DECENCY: Pahk Street. Change heahr fuh the Green Line.
SARCASM: Usually in bed. But occasionally, if I'm feeling [up] KINKY, in the bathtub, in the mail room, in the fireplace...
VIOLENCE: ...in the back stairwell of the library.
SARCASM: I thought I heard someone behind us...

>telling me its not my fic!

DECENCY: Possibly because IT ISN'T YOUR FIC!!!

.>..why dont you just shut the hell up!

DECENCY: How the fuck many times do I have to explain Constitutional Law -- BASIC Constitutional Law--to fucking THIRD GRADERS?!?! *hyperventilates* I HAVE A GOVERNMENT-PROTECTED CIVIL RIGHT TO SPEAK MY MIND. DEAL WITH IT.

>you dont knwo everything....

SARCASM: Like what you're trying to say. Could you switch to English please?

>do you hae any fu*kin' proof!...

VIOLENCE: *aims axe for asterisk*
SARCASM: Oh, how cute. Completely ineffectual censorship. Say it with me, darling. Fucking. Fuuuuuuuuuuu-king.
DECENCY: *still raging* PROOF? YOU CANT HANDLE THE PROOF!
VIOLENCE: *THWACKs DECENCY*
DECENCY: *dazed* Thank you VIOLENCE. I think I needed that.

>i wrote this in 1998 with my cousin maja!

ALL: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
SARCASM: *nods empahtically* Really, we believe you. We do. Honest to goodness, cross my heart and hope to die, pinky swear and everything.
VIOLENCE: Judging by your current use--and I use the term loosely--of the English language, Id judge that you're somewhere around third grade. In 1998, you would have been watching Barney and drooling orange juice on the carpet, NOT producing fic.

>it wsa because my dad was leaving!....no this is the story!

DECENCY: Can either of you make any sense out of that string of words?
VIOLENCE/SARCASM: *shake heads sadly*
SARCASM: There's this obnoxious statement of the obvious mixed with a rather annoying incoherence. Almost cute, in a toxic sort of way.
VIOLENCE: *shoots sentence*
SARCASM: *beams* Even better. *reads around buckshot holes* It...my...not....is...story!
DECENCY: Absolutely beautiful. Managed to keep the original grammar. Just wonderful. You get extra time with the star! *hands VIOLENCE Bej's gold star*
VIOLENCE: *looks vaguely haughty but plasters star on forehead and smirks contentedly*

>i gave it to a girl that i met on msn, and i gave her my story

DECENCY: Yes, but did you give the girl you met on MSN the story?
SARCASM: Even more importantly, did you give her the story?
DECENCY: Additionally, did you give the story to her?
VIOLENCE: *twitches* Alright, it's DEAD! Drop it!
SARCASM: But, VIOLENCE, you LOVE redundancy...

>so she can check it!

DECENCY: Unfortunately, Delta lost it somewhere around Cleveland.
SARCASM: Proving, once again, that Ohio is a giant black hole of doom.

>now thats what i wrote!

VIOLENCE: And yet, strangely enough, you have not offered us any proof beyond your inability to use punctuation beyond exclamation points. Odd, that.
DECENCY: I do so love the turns of phrase you've picked up from PYROTELEKINESIS. Very classy VIOLENCE.
VIOLENCE: *grumbles* Dammit Sparky, if you want to MST, get out here and do it your damn self. STOP poking around in my consciousness!

>but i dont have any ideas as to what she did!

SARCASM: You know, I say that to myself every time I wake up chained to furniture. But the difference is, my confusion usually involves copious amounts of alcohol and various other mind-altering substances. Your ignorance is the result of pure and simple stupidity.

>...so dont think you know everything!...

DECENY: *sigh* Go ahead, SARCASM. You have my permission.
SARCASM: *dances gleefully* But I KNOW I know everything!
VIOLENCE: *glares* That wasnt necessary.

>im really sorry if i sound really mean, :)

VIOLENCE: *fires rocket launcher at smiley*
~BOOM~
SARCASM: Really.

>but thats all i know!

SARCASM: We had established that.
DECENCY: *smug grin* Well, my dear, you've just undermined all your own arguments. If the sum total of your knowledge is summed up in this email (giving you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to defining 'that's'), there is no logically possible way for you to have produced the fic in question.

>....i can show ou this story that i have entered in a stupid little competition in 1999!

VIOLENCE: *disdain* There is NOTHING that could possibly induce me to look at one of your stories. Presupposing, of course, that you have WRITTEN stories, rather than pilfering them from real authors. *shakes head then looks around* ALRIGHT SPARKY! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!
*There is suddenly a burst of purple flame and the figure of TELEPYROKINESIS appears, glares at VIOLENCE indignantly, and disappears.*
SARCASM: Well, that was unnecessary.

>...i have the web site!....

SARCASM: Is this where you point your sword at Cringer and make him turn into Battle Cat?
DECENCY: That would be a valid point, except this chick was, in all likelihood, less than a vague fear on prom night when Wreaker and Lyra were entranced by a blatantly homosexual cartoon man in a leotard and pink vest and his mini-skirted, go-go booted, big-haired sister.
ALL: *wistful sigh for the good ol days*

>now you guys really cna think what you want!,

SARCASM: * chibi eyes* Really? Anything I want? Even that people shouldnt steal others fic because its BAD? Even that youre a bloody idiot? Even that VIOLENCE should erase your existence from the virtual world?
VIOLENCE: *smirks and pushes button*
DECENCY: Stupid girl go down de hole.

>but for me all i can say is that im nota a plagerizer, because

DECENCY: ...plagerizer isnt a word. You are, however, a plagiarist. Of the first degree.

>i know how it feels to have someone steal your fic!

SARCASM: If by how it feels to have someone steal your fic! you mean how it feels to blatantly rip off the work of a decent author and attempt, pitifully, to pass it off as my own, then yes, I'm sure you do.